If you thought I'd bleed, then you were wrong.

'Cos I won't stop holding on.

Getting over someone is easy, once it's done. Yeah sure, it takes a while to rid yourself of those whimsical feelings that surge in you everytime they wander about in your head. But after a while, and probably their prolonged absence, you (well at least for me) tend to forget them. Slowly.

Soon, they evaporate from your heart and you come close to forgetting they exist. And at least when you see them again, you will smile to yourself and think of all the stupid things that used to run through your head, when you still had a place for them in your heart.

And it seems to be easier to forget about them when it's been coupled with bad memories ... right?

Wrong.

Let me explain bad memories. They are the tiny spokes you leave behind when you clean out your heart. And before you can catch them all, they've seeped through the walls leaving no trace behind. So you think they're gone.

And soon it infects your body, your mind - like a cancer. And everytime those venomous spokes pierce flesh somewhere in your body, your mouth dries, your lungs freeze and your face pales - you're almost in a coma.

Except in a coma you don't feel pain.

The sensation lasts as long as you want it to, or as long as IT wants it too. And when it leaves you for that moment, you return to a normal state of being - waiting for the next attack. It's really a living nightmare, as it zones you out into a world of naivete, pain, hate, darkness, helplessness, weakness, lies, betrayal, trust (I have described this before as a false feeling)...

... and fools - You being the biggest one.

You thought his novelties were funny. You thought he was just being 'eccentric'. You thought he was genuine. You thought he meant the world to you. You thought he was your key to being happy. You thought that giving him everything - was everything. You thought that showing him emotion would bring him closer. You thought that lending him time in your life was insignificant to any other favour you could give him. You thought listening to him was imperative. You thought sideing him over everyone else was noble because nobody else would. And most of all - you thought he cared.

There must be a way to rid yourself of these painful spokes. And that painful headache. The taste of vomit in your saliva. The swell in your chest.

But hey, there isn't a cure for cancer.

-xxx-